The Sale Barn

I went this past Saturday for the 1st time ever. I dont know if I should ever go back. It was of course, a goat and sheep sale but they also had some llamas, alpacas, mini donkeys and mini horses. Its best to get there early and walk the pens out back trying to find the perfect new babies to bring home. We got front row seats, the best ya know, if you're going to be there you might as well BE there. They bring the animals thru 1x1, sometimes a pair, sometimes a herd, and the bidding begins. Of course I want every misfit that comes thru. It was heartbreaking at times, if you have any kind of heart. A nanny goat came thru that couldn't even get a $10.00 bid, until of course, I bought her. I was no longer a sale barn virgin and I fell in love and I bought my first goat. She had over grown hooves and walked with strained effort, but she had spunk. I couldn't wait to get her home and just love on her. I knew she would probably never be a breeder for us but I couldn't let someone buy her just to turn her into hamburger. It wasn't her fault she had a shitty life. I would let her live out what was left of it with green grass and hugs...

Once we get her home, I see she doesn't have just overgrown hooves that we can trim back to make her more comfortable, she has foot rot. My stomach sinks. Foot rot is very contagious and spreads quickly. It is a very time consuming and costly process to turn around and odds are not good that it can be reversed. I am now pissed. Pissed at her previous owner that he passed on a goat in this condition, pissed at the sale barn that they sold her. Its SO obvious to see, yet she was sold. How was I to see from a seat in the stands?!

I have named her twinkle toes. She is in a pen by herself. She is SO sweet and loves me back. She walks to me the minute she see's me coming even though I know it is so painful to her. and I know we have to put her out of her misery. This KILLS me. All of the area lockers cant take her until the end of April so that means it needs to be done here. John took his gun out yesterday to do the deed while I was at the hospital having tests run. He knows I cant bear to be here. When I got home I didn't even pull in the driveway, I drove past the house and straight thru to the back to the shed, and there she was- happy to see me. He couldn't do it.

I KNOW its the right thing to do. The humane thing to do. I have talked with the kids and they finally understand this too. WHY is it so damn hard? Please say a prayer for my heart.