I was thinking about specific rules I was taught as a child. The rules I learned were an exercise in authoritative direction, i.e., “This is how it’s done in our family.” We were taught by our parents, as well as teachers and other people of influence. Every family’s rules are different. As kids, we just followed along.
Some of the rules never made sense to me. I tried my best to follow them. Whenever I questioned a rule, I often got in trouble. I internally struggled to fit in the world, based on the rules I was taught. Here are some rules that gave me problems.
You’ve got to clean your plate—even if you’re too full or not hungry.
You should be nice to everyone.
Be polite—and always say yes, even when you’d rather say no.
You’re going to school—you’re not that sick.
Don’t take risks—it’s not safe.
Be careful—there are a lot of bad people “out there.”
Don’t attract attention to yourself—you don’t want to stand out.
Don’t be too pushy—that’s not ladylike.
Play down your strengths and capabilities—men get intimidated by smart women.
Fit in—and follow what everybody does.
Don’t break the rules—and never question authority.
I sure didn’t get where I am today, by following those limited rules.
If I had, I would probably be living a very scheduled, safe and boring life; afraid to speak my mind and risk in any way. Phew. I’m glad that didn’t happen!
Maybe it’s time to create an entirely new set of rules to enhance your life to be your best. Some of the stuff we were taught, can be deeply imbedded in our thinking, and tricky to shake.
It’s okay to break those old rules or at least bend them. Who says we have to live by someone else’s standards?
As an adult woman, I have the choice to create and follow rules that work for me; and change them, when they don’t. And just so you know, I stopped following those old rules a long time ago and I always question authority.
