Fibromyalgics have a different kind of pain that is hard to treat. It is not caused by inflammation like an injury. It's a chronic condition with chronic pain in my muscles and connective tissues (around the joints). It is not a constant ache in one place like a broken bone. It moves around my body daily and hourly and changes in severity and type. Sometimes it is dull and sometimes it is cramping or prickly. Sometimes it's jabbing and excruciating. If Eskimos have a hundred words for snow, fibromyalgics should have a hundred words for pain. Sometimes I just hurt all over like I've been beaten up or run over by a truck. Sometimes I feel too tired to lift up my arm.
Because I feel bad most of the time, I am always pushing myself, and sometimes I just push myself too hard. When I do this, I pay the price. Sometimes I can summon the strength to do something special but I may have to rest for a few days afterwards because my body can only make so much energy. I pay a big price for overdoing it, but sometimes I have to.
My Sleep problems- Sometimes I get really restless and wake up and can't get back to sleep. Sometimes by legs hurt and burn so bad from my restless leg syndrome ( A free perk included with fibro) I lie there and cry and pray to just fall asleep. Fast. (I usually lose the fight and get up to take some pain pills.) Other times I fall into bed and sleep for fourteen hours and still be tired. Some nights I'll toss and turn and not be able to sleep at all. Every little thing will keep me awake. I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of exhaustion.
My pain- My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation. My central nervous system (brain) is somehow supersensitive. Fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way my brain processes pain signals. Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I cant work my pain out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my shoulder, my back, my knees, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or even gone. My pain is believed to be caused by improper signals sent to the brain and they are magnified 100x. Every muscle in my body shouts out in pain. I feel as though someone has unplugged my power supply.
My forgetfulness- Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don't have any short-term memory at all. I am constantly looking for things. I have no idea where I put down my purse, and I walk into rooms and have no idea why. Casualties are my keys which I lock in my vehicle, my list of things to remember and do, usually stay on the counter when I go out. Even if I put notes around to remind myself of important things, I'm still liable to forget them.
My clumsiness- I dont have the muscle control. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. I take stairwells one step at a time. I have muscle stiffness which is worse in the morning and evenings. Sometimes when I get up out of a chair I feel like I am ninety years old. I may have to ask you to help me up. I'm creaky and I'm klutzy. I trip over things no one can see, I may step on your toes. I cant help it. I bump into the person I am walking with and I drop things and spill things because my fingers are stiff and my coordination is off. I just don't seem to connect the way I should. Hand-eye, foot-eye coordination, it's all off.
My sensitivities- I just can't stand it! "It" could be any number of things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises especially certain noises like loud television or shrill noises can make me jittery and anxious, odors... FMS has been called the "aggravating everything disorder."
My intolerance- I can't stand heat. Or humidity. I shake uncontrollably when it's cold. I don't tolerate cold, either. They stress me out and make my pain worse and I get exhausted. My internal thermostat is broken, and nobody knows how to fix it.
My depression Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in the house or die. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.
My stress- My body does not handle stress well. Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.
I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no cure. I can have my good days or weeks or even months. In fact, the good days are what keep me going. I may have Fibro, but I refuse to let in control me. =)
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